The Village Advisor

The Village is considered a close network of family and trusted friends. Is it appropriate to use the Village to help raise your children?

Let's compare clichés from the perspective of the married couple, whom are encouraged to befriend and socialize with other married couples. They are encouraged by other married couples for whatever reason to distance them from single or divorce friends.

Single parents are encouraged to use their Village to help raise their children. Why do married people conveniently insert themselves into the Village equation and become villagers in the raising of your children? There are components in the makeup of your Village that should possibly be taken into consideration. In the relationship with the villagers there are advisors, babysitters, the church and so forth.

Today, let's address the advisor component of the Village. The Village Advisor should at least fall within the guidelines of mirroring your family situation so he/she is speaking from experience.

1. Be sure that the Village Advisor at least has children, the children are around the same age range as your children, and they maintain a respectful and loving relationship with their children.
2. Be careful that your Village Advisor's objective is not to live their parental relationship vicariously through your relationship with your children.
3. Safeguard who is allowed to speak to you in an advisory capacity for they are also speaking into your spirit. Those words take root and grow.

The Village Advisor must be qualified to hold the position in your life, particularly if he/she is to assist with the raising of your children. Please weigh every word that you hear, especially in relation to your children.

There will be people that come into your life labeled as a friend, live vicariously through you, and insert themselves into your children's life as a parental role model knowing that in their mind he/she has failed in their relationship with their own children. You may need to be their Village Advisor.

Just as you prune your house plant of leaves that are hindering the progress and health of your plant’s growth, so should you prune your Village Advisors. Although the Village (if used properly) can be therapeutic, rarely are there therapists, psychologists or doctors in your camp. Wisdom, not hidden agendas must flow in your Village in order for it to be effective or appropriate to assist you with raising your children. Keep in mind that Jesus Christ walked with the Disciples for 7 years prior to labeling them his friends. Know the friend...

The journey continues...

Non-Transferrable College Credits

Once graduated from high school many students ponder their future. Some enter the armed services, some the work force and others dream of acquiring a college degree or two. At some point in life there will be instances when life moves through obstacle courses such as a pregnancy or the death of a close relative.

Scenario 1: My sophomore year I became pregnant with my daughter, and I took time off from college due to the birth of my child. Scenario 2: My junior year I lost my grandmother and that was extremely traumatic. That death was a very low point in my life's journey that turned me mentally upside down. Needless to say I left college and moved back home to Miami, Florida. At the age of 21 I married, and my husband and I purchased a single family home. Yes, life starting moving very fast and those were happy times. After two children and 6 wonder years that marriage ended and I moved to Atlanta, Georgia after a job layoff.

My 1st college experience earned me 102 credit hours in the quarter system. My 2nd college experience, I transferred my transcript to a junior college (JC) in hopes of acquiring an Associate Degree, but that was the beginning of losing college credits. Only 43 credit hours were accepted of the earned 102, but I earned 28 new credits at the JC institution. My employer at the time was involved in projects that caused an increase in my work hours to include weekend scheduling. As a result, I had to withdraw from classes and eventually stop attending that institution. Due to my inability to physically sit in classes I later began attending classes online through a 3rd institution. In my 3rd college experience, 51.98 credits were accepted from 1st institution and 24.64 credits were accepted from 2nd institution. There I earned 9 credit hours. Unfortunately, those 9 hours earned at the 3rd institution were not accepted at the 4th institution. The 4th and hopefully final institution accepted a total transfer of 88.264 credit hours from those colleges.

Although I am currently accepted to two 4-year institutions, the joke is really on me now. Due to my repeated attempts to acquire a degree I have accumulated credit hours that have taken me over the limit to quality for a Federal Pell Grant or any other Federal funding. I had to file an Appeal for Financial Aid Appeal, and I am waiting for a final determination. In the meantime I am endlessly applying for college scholarships based on my previous 3.33 GPA, but I am running into age cutoffs on scholarship applications. Those scholarships that are available to me are being applied.

The journey continues...