The Village Advisor

The Village is considered a close network of family and trusted friends. Is it appropriate to use the Village to help raise your children?

Let's compare clichés from the perspective of the married couple, whom are encouraged to befriend and socialize with other married couples. They are encouraged by other married couples for whatever reason to distance them from single or divorce friends.

Single parents are encouraged to use their Village to help raise their children. Why do married people conveniently insert themselves into the Village equation and become villagers in the raising of your children? There are components in the makeup of your Village that should possibly be taken into consideration. In the relationship with the villagers there are advisors, babysitters, the church and so forth.

Today, let's address the advisor component of the Village. The Village Advisor should at least fall within the guidelines of mirroring your family situation so he/she is speaking from experience.

1. Be sure that the Village Advisor at least has children, the children are around the same age range as your children, and they maintain a respectful and loving relationship with their children.
2. Be careful that your Village Advisor's objective is not to live their parental relationship vicariously through your relationship with your children.
3. Safeguard who is allowed to speak to you in an advisory capacity for they are also speaking into your spirit. Those words take root and grow.

The Village Advisor must be qualified to hold the position in your life, particularly if he/she is to assist with the raising of your children. Please weigh every word that you hear, especially in relation to your children.

There will be people that come into your life labeled as a friend, live vicariously through you, and insert themselves into your children's life as a parental role model knowing that in their mind he/she has failed in their relationship with their own children. You may need to be their Village Advisor.

Just as you prune your house plant of leaves that are hindering the progress and health of your plant’s growth, so should you prune your Village Advisors. Although the Village (if used properly) can be therapeutic, rarely are there therapists, psychologists or doctors in your camp. Wisdom, not hidden agendas must flow in your Village in order for it to be effective or appropriate to assist you with raising your children. Keep in mind that Jesus Christ walked with the Disciples for 7 years prior to labeling them his friends. Know the friend...

The journey continues...